@MisterBombay: I follow ripped guys around the grocery store and just buy what they buy
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@Sean_Burgundy_: [ 3 AM ] Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded Me: Do you have snacks in your car? Friend: No Me: *Hangs up
@JennyJohnsonHi5: The sculpture of Amelia Earhart in the Burbank airport doesn't give me that warm fuzzy feeling before flying.
@daemonic3: [home depot] ME: I think I like this huge decorative rock HER: Boulder ME: Ok [with confidence] I REALLY LOVE THIS HUGE DECORATIVE ROCK
@Jake_Vig: The correct amount of coffee is the amount where, if you perished, your heart would continue to beat for a good 2-3 days.