@MisterBombay: I follow ripped guys around the grocery store and just buy what they buy
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@KingRainhead: Girl: I want bangs Me: I want a stylist to get my hair as close to antlers as possible. Make me look like a young prince of the wooded glen
@TheRolo: [Walking around the office] *Sees nosepicker* *Hears burper* *Smells gas* Boss: What are you doing? Calculating the..."Gross Margin."