@SamuelHLowe: I forgive you, but I hope your death is written, produced, and directed by Quentin Tarantino.
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@SortaBad: *slaps the cup out of the barista's hand* "No. I want Asriel, the guy with the man-bun, to make my latte. He has a better energy"
@sugabelly: I think parents are incredibly selfish and rude for having additional children without first consulting their existing child. 😒
@AaronFullerton: "You deleted your search history. Good move. But you forgot about something..." *cop gets all up in suspect's face* "Targeted. Banner. Ads."
@stephenjmolloy: Mugger: Give me your wallet! Me: Back off! I know karate. *later* Me: Well, he called my bluff. Doctor: You have lost a lot of blood.