@pakalupapito: i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13
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@IamEnidColeslaw: trying to get through to Mozart on the Ouija board I really want him to listen to the Thong Song
@copymama: My 7yo said if she ever gets married she wants to have a pajama-themed wedding, and I feel like my parenting has come to fruition.
@causticbob: A boy asks his mom, "Why am I black and you're white?" She says, "Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark"