@pakalupapito: i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13
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@Mr_Kapowski: My daughter lost her 1st tooth today so I'm staying up all night to see The Rock in a tutu.
@thepunningman: wife: Can't we just buy a bigger catflap? me: [buttering the cat] We're not made of money, Karen
@dave_cactus: [Grade 6] TEACHER: You can't end a sentence with a preposition. ME: You just did. TEACHER: What? ME: Ended a sentence with "a preposition."