@tastefactory: I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they're way too big for him.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: you know who else had a "fun hat phase"? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy
@jergarl: *takes ambien Oh. You said NO ambien before dinner at your parents. Wife: Really? Me:*already getting naked* I'm sure it will be fine.
@LizHackett: I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.