@tastefactory: I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they're way too big for him.
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@DillDoes: *walking in forest* *tree falls and makes a loud noise* WOAH *tree gets up* *tree pull a knife on me* "You didn't hear SHIT" *tree runs off*
@holypurgatory: A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
@TheKegKiller: Scientists recently discovered T-Rex hunted in packs, confirming once again that we should all send that asteroid a thank you card.