@tastefactory: I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they're way too big for him.
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@Prince_Smarming: Imagine my surprise when I found out "restraining order" did not mean she wanted me to tie her up.
@RoosterMustache: WIFE: omg the FBI ME: thats just female body inspectors W: why are they here M: probably all those female bodies we buried W: o yah lol
@DeathStarPR: Stormtroopers never miss. They're just trained to fire a 21 shot salute to celebrate the commencement of every firefight.