@just1fool: I found a ten dollar bill on the ground once and thought, "This is as good as it's ever going to get. Buy some relish."
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@ApocalypseHow: Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
@VodkaDietSoda: The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating, I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled.
@Chumpstring: Keep a few cat turds in your pockets, just in case a cop searches you. He will get cat poop on his hands, and you can laugh. It's all legal.