@mishakey: I found some dignity. If no one claims it in 24 hours, I'm keeping it.
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@hollywoodsigh: I'm at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to shit faster because it's cold.
@derekblackmon: I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it's been coming on for a few years now.