@gigglegirlnoel: I found the cure to obesity, but then I ate it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UNTRESOR: I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.
@ceejoyner: Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.
@WilliamAder: Someone tweeted today that they were "29-ish" and I didn't know you could "ish" 15 years.
@smint: Spending this evening saving Princess Zelda, because Princess Zelda has never 'accidentally' hooked up with her Sociology T.A. while abroad.