@KThonvold: I gave my cat a middle name today, so she knows when she is really in trouble.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Was the island real or were they dead the whole time? Sony tech support: We can't answer that kind of TV question, sir.
@SCbchbum: The directions on every jar of anti-aging cream should read: “Apply liberally to face & neck 20 years ago.”
@beermanboobs: *crawls into bed naked* *grabs a book* *sips wine* This is nice. I wonder whose house this is.
@LMLMadness: Sleeping Beauty is my favorite story about how any sweet princess will activate her fire breathing dragon if you wake her up from a nap.