@KThonvold: I gave my cat a middle name today, so she knows when she is really in trouble.
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@JessicaVarsity: I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared.
@Scimommy: Tried to impress 9 by making up sentences containing 3 of her vocabulary words at once, so now she knows what "nerd" means.
@ehdannyboy: Wife: [looking out of window] Go and talk to our son. He's outside looking forlorn. Me: [goes outside] *points to grass* it's there u prick