@paranoidplastic: i get in my bubble bath with clenched fists to make me look more manly
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EndhooS: Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip
@JessObsess: ME: *does something stupid* I hope no one saw me do that ALSO ME: *texting all my friends* Listen to what I just did
@markleggett: People who say that they don't have time for my bullshit need to learn how to manage their time better. Wake up an hour earlier.