@pseudo_fred: I get my hair cut twice a week. Mostly because I love capes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@scottthetwat: I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Are you good at making snap decisions?" *20 minutes later* Me: "No."
@trevso_electric: When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that "totally weird" text you got from your ex last night.