@dreamthievin: I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@peachesanscream: What if your dog speaks French and this whole time has been asking you for some beef?
@Brampersandon_: [COPS] *into radio* We've got a drunk man in the park who thinks he's a lion tamer. "SIR! PUT THE WHIP DOWN & STEP AWAY FROM THE CAROUSEL!"
@JackalAnon: So, #Dorners ID was found in San Diego a week ago and then unmelted in the burned down cabin? sounds legit.