@ZachXJ: i go to a lot of married ladies' funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp
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@kumailn: 5 people hurt themselves by accidentally discharging guns at gun shows. Maybe the best way to handle gun nuts is to just let them have guns.
@TrueTorontoGirl: [Boss stands at my desk] Can I see you in my office? [I stare curiously] You can see me here, right?
@NikiWithIssues: My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi.