@ZachXJ: i go to a lot of married ladies' funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp
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@TheBossyBlonde: If you have never had a friend that you haven't contemplated leaving at a gas station forever I applaud you.
@Ristolable: Did you see that? That's the third time she came over here. I think she likes me. "This is Applebee's and she is our waitress"
@realHamOnWry: If you're lost in the forest start talking about politics. Someone is sure to show up to argue with you.