@ZachXJ: i go to a lot of married ladies' funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp
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@ProdigyNelson: Lawyer: do you watch people use the bathroom? Defendant: no Lawyer: spell "ICUP" Defendant: I-C-U-P Judge: *softly* omg Jury: *whispering*
@SteveKoehler22: A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned... no strings attached. Wait...what ?
@errhmagerd: I'm in an abusive relationship. controlling, manipulative, overbearing, demanding. it's for his own good.