@TheBoydP: I don’t understand how anyone could be a grave robber. How do you steal a six foot hole?

@13spencer: People who like "The Bachelor" are like racists; you know they're out there, but you just hope your friends don't feel that way.

@shawnspree: You know she loves you when you wakeup in a pool of ice in the motel room bathtub with only one kidney removed.

@hazelmotes1: Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?

@SteveHuff: People are so wary of technology still. I grew up living directly under high power lines & only have 1 sentient mole that orders me to kill.