Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@ZachXJ: i go to a lot of married ladies' funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp

i go to a lot of married ladies’ funerals and play the part of an upset lover just to mix things up and for free shrimp
7 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@charstarlene: I can't wait to get married and communicate my disdain solely through aggressive dishwashing.

1

@WheelTod: *First day as a spy Boss: Did you bug the Russian Embassy? Me:Oh yes. At Russian Embassy: "Boris, where did all these damn ants come from?"

1

@gorrdano: I understand if you aren't religious, I respect that. But you don't have to get all rude when I ask to use your first born as a sacrifice.

164

@envydatropic: WHY ARE THEY STILL PLAYING CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS? Me watching recorded TV shows

1

@HlaoRoo: Remember when you used Twitter to update friends & family on where you were, & what you were doing? Yeah, me neither.

1
↑