@Philosopherbing: I got a new vacuum that sucks so much, it was directed by M. Night Shamalayan
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@awesomeseank: Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.
@lloydrang: Kid: Mommy's last name must be "Honey" cuz that's what daddy calls her Teacher: That's SWEET. What's her first name? Kid: "Sorry," I think
@SteveStfler: Biden: Ok here's the plan: have you seen Home Alone Obama: Joe, no Biden: Just one booby trap Obama: Joe
@FBSisnothere: When I hear the phrase "Freudian slip" I immediately imagine Sigmund in a revealing, yet tasteful nightgown. That can't be healthy.