@Quartzjixler: I got fired from the church nursery for racing the babies.
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@Dis0beyJay: [ First Date ] Her: So you're a MMA fighter? * flashback to me kickboxing a mannequin at Nordstrom's * Me: Yea, I'm still training
@heatherlou_: I'm not lazy. I wear yoga pants because the urge to work out might hit me. You don't know.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat CAT: that's awful why would they say that? ME: really? CAT: *dies*
@BestWorstAdvice: If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes.