@hazelmotes1: I got fired on my first day as a paramedic for trying to revive everyone with true love's first kiss.
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@ceejoyner: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if you want babies throwing rocks everywhere. Dangerous.
@SuperTeeWhy: Jaws (2015): "(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you're on your way great thanks"
@DiscoFruit: [3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren't home. me: but we're only 7, that's awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING.
@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one