@hazelmotes1: I got fired on my first day as a paramedic for trying to revive everyone with true love's first kiss.
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@ClassicMegan: Out of all the gruesome noises coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most troubling.
@SondraDeeMe: I fake the art of fainting so well my favorite restaurant now refers to me as "Low Blood Sugar Girl" while rushing my limp body to a table.
@FuckabillyRex: I have a bad feeling I'll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way.