@kathradical: I got my first period during Shrek 2 live in theaters which means I entered Shrek 2 a child & left a woman
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@JMFingSparks: 5yo: *smells glue stick* Me: DON'T BE SMELLING THAT!! 5yo: it smells like strawberries! Me: give me that...*smells glue stick*
@spacej_me: Sorry you handed me your baby and I immediately put it in the garbage I thought that's what we were doing.
@stormy_hero: [at wedding] "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Couple kisses *yelling from the back row "AWKWAAAARD"