@trevso_electric: I got this "breathe" tattoo on my wrist because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.
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@slimmy_shady: Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that's not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?
@Cheeseboy22: I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.
@Torriable: I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can't even afford A washer or a dryer