@withanewname: I had 13 items in the 12 items or less line, so I just put a banana in my pocket.
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@ilovepie84: Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome.
@NicestHippo: POLICE CHIEF: They call him the copycat killer ONE OF THE COPS (mocking tone): They call him the copycat killer [everyone looks at him] Oops
@KimmyMonte: *judge bangs gavel* Ok let's reconvene after a quick 20 min recess *immediately knocks over defense attorney to get to the slide first*
@SteveSuckington: [reading test results] "It looks like you're gonna be just fine" [nurse whispers in ear] "Lol my bad u got like 6 weeks" -Steve Harvey M.D.