@withanewname: I had 13 items in the 12 items or less line, so I just put a banana in my pocket.
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@Tbone7219: The cops just showed up at work & all the workers that have been in trouble before fled. At least that's what I can see from under my desk.
@TheresNoGodzila: *gets on 1 knee* Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me? Her: Please get off my knee
@shutupmikeginn: A tall guy in movie theater just sat in front of me and he's on a date so he's going to have good posture the whole time this sucks
@PaperWash: date: and then after traveling to Iceland I decided to get my MBA me: date: me: I went to Arby's 7 times yesterday