@withanewname: I had 13 items in the 12 items or less line, so I just put a banana in my pocket.
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@TheMichaelRock: If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you'll be dead soon.
@Jade_VK: Brenda from work unfollowed me on here so now I have to follow her around the office all day reading my tweets like a news broadcaster
@DumbConfessions: *starts throwing a fit* Iron man: Here. Eat a Snickers. Doctor Banner: Thanks, bro.
@chopper4jk: I hope when I get old, my motorized wheelchair is fast enough the catch the ice cream truck.