@omgthatspunny: I had a little bird, her name was enza, I opened up the window and influenza.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shariv67: I was bitten by a radioactive vegan, and now I have the power to bore people to death.
@RdrJay47: Drive Thru Clerk: Wow, you smell good. What are you wearing? Me: [hiding fries from the other drive thru] You wouldn't know, it's french.
@thomaswhitehead: London is like the best era of Batman at the moment. Well-orchestrated mild commuter panic and Prince stalking the streets.