@omgthatspunny: I had a little bird, her name was enza, I opened up the window and influenza.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: I miss being a kid and playing cowboys and Indians. Now whenever I chase people around with a tomahawk I get arrested.
@Fat_Jalbert: Waiter: how would you like your steak? Me: rare [later] Waiter: *brings steak with a 1st edition Charizard on it* Me: *tearing up* perfect
@C00LpenNAME: 1818: My dearest Katherine, I write this letter in the hope that it finds you. It has been 3 fortnights since our last correspondence. I fear the lack of communique means you may have finally succumbed to the pox... 2018: Bro i texted u 10 mins ago u ded?