@Smooheed: I had beer at lunchtime and now I think I might be sitting in the wrong office
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@andiedandie0: Just realized my undies are on inside out .. Was gonna change them around . but I figured let the other side get sum action for a change .
@ChaseMit: Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have "evolved." Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about.
@yaboybillnye: Yo mama so dumb she tried to minimize a 9 variable function to a sum of products wit a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm
@wendchymes: Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out "DEAR GOD MY BACK!"