@Smooheed: I had beer at lunchtime and now I think I might be sitting in the wrong office
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@TheAlexNevil: Me: Do you have any three tiered wedding cakes? Baker: But of course! When do you need it by? M: No, I'll just eat it here.
@david8hughes: [batteries in my TV remote die for the first time since I bought it 4 years ago] "Useless piece of shit."
@david8hughes: [airport check-in] Me: I'd like to check this in Clerk: you'll have to take that on with u Me [sighing & picking baby up off counter]: fine
@DothTheDoth: No one wants to talk about Dracula's defining quality, turning into thousands of bats to avoid human contact.