@ashleycrem: I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things.
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@jaslakhmna: While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full...I'll just be drinking from the bottle !
@jergarl: I'd like to think I have a decent eye for fashion and my wife is like "OMG REMEMBER WHEN THAT HOBO PUT MONEY IN YOUR COFFEE LOL?"
@JeremyKCMO: You drunkenly fall into one bathtub with your pants around your ankles, breaking the curtain rod and all of a sudden, everyone is a critic