@notfolu: I had to delete Facebook because I liked too many pictures of dogs yesterday and now the newsfeed algorithm thinks I care about those people
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@HeyZeus666: What if God IS a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it.
@bearcub577: Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men.
@NicCageMatch: Just saw a girl wearing a "BAD GAL" t-shirt so I yelled "NO!" & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
@Blondiethegood: I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting.