@2tickytacky: I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?
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@McKnightyBoo: Sorry I yelled: BLESS YOU and handed you a tissue after you told me you loved me Blow your nose, it will pass
@LuvPug: *at a pizza buffet in the Midwest* Me: excuse me, can you please make a vegetarian pizza? Him: Sure! What kind of meat do you want on that?
@Yankeegiant72: The bad news: I shaved off my beard. The good news: none of my co-workers recognize me and have stopped talking to me.