@2tickytacky: I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?
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@sarcasm_inc: *waiter lays down my plate* "Can I get u anything else?" U CAN GET ME HAPPY FACE PANCAKES LIKE I ORDERED, U FUC- *he rotates my plate* oh ok
@_MStJohn: Hey everyone, welcome to Simon Says club. Please have a seat. *sigh* Looks like we have some work to do
@Home_Halfway: DATE'S FATHER: What business do you have with my daughter ME: Oh this isn't a work thing, we're gonna watch a movie and smooch all night