@mattZillaaaa: I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate
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@BuckyIsotope: Fired from my job as an autopsy technician for repeatedly asking "are you gonna eat that?" during the procedures.
@rachelle_mandik: am i supposed to have a separate mouth with which to kiss my mother please advise
@man_spach: The most useful lesson I learned from my cat is if somebody puts clothing on you, just freeze and flop over on your side.
@davepell: 95% of American office workers are watching the World Cup right now. Overall productivity level remains steady.