@mattZillaaaa: I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate
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@danorslim: Me: You wanna have sex tonight? GF: I'm not in the mood babe. Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone.
@garrettbarry70: I have a CW who can't input data into a spreadsheet without whispering each number so don't tell me about your day.
@OBiiieeee: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?