@mattZillaaaa: I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate
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@longwall26: haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in
@TheRolo: [Walking around the office] *Sees nosepicker* *Hears burper* *Smells gas* Boss: What are you doing? Calculating the..."Gross Margin."
@jwoodham: Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg, and some days you're the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
@Sickayduh: "We need a name for this big flat state full of corn and you're gonna be the one to do it" "I...uhhh... Wha?" "Nailed it. Next state."