@jjax44: I hate it when I forget to cut the tags off my sandwich and everyone's like "New sandwich?"
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@iwearaonesie: wife: You're going to work like that? me: Yeah, it's casual day [20 minutes later] me *calls wife* Can you bring me some pants?
@robfee: While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective defense against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?
@Angibangie: -Your house is amazing. Why are u renting this cheap? -It’s haunted by a low level demon Demon: Wow I’m right here that is like so hurtful