@JermHimselfish: I hate it when I see an inflatable arm-flailing tube man and then I realize that he was actually flailing his arms at someone behind me.
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@FatherWithTwins: I like to torture my kids by buying them a new Xbox game, and then taking them to the zoo all day.
@Just_Lee_: If Bruce Willis does any more Die Hard movies it will just be 90 minutes of him sitting in a rocking chair waiting to die from the flu.
@jobless4eyes: Found a fly on his back by my keyboard. So dead. So sad. Put a cocktail umbrella by his head. Now he looks like he's suntanning.
@tequilasaltlife: I'm a good driver until there is a cop behind me Then I become a paranoid weed transporter from the border