@JermHimselfish: I hate it when I see an inflatable arm-flailing tube man and then I realize that he was actually flailing his arms at someone behind me.
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@rickolantern: They grow up so fast. My nephew lost his first tooth Saturday night In a fight a with a bouncer
@ssholeEric: Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
@TheTweetOfGod: I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.
@mdob11: Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don't come to work :(