@girlontapas: I hate it when I want wine and the wine home delivery man hasn't been invented yet.
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@MUMSIEesq: 3YO: Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister? ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.
@HiddleDeeDee: 6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap. It's a joy raising an 80 year old man.
@notalogin: If you see a kid who's physically unusual somehow, be sure to mention it to the parents. Odds are, they've never noticed and will thank you.
@ActuallyEmerson: Sometimes I answer your rhetorical questions because I think you are that stupid.