@Not_a_JesusGirl: I hate it when I'm at someone's house and they ask stupid questions like "Who are you?" and "Is that a gun?"
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@lecalabara: Mario: I killed all your turtle troops.Bowser: Turtle what?Mario: All the turtles that work for you.Bowser: What turtles?Mario: Uh oh...
@Ristolable: I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
@causticbob: I found a cure for my debilitating cancer. I dumped her and started to see a capricorn instead.
@chrisanna4real: Ever since Crystal signed my yearbook in 4th grade, all of my summers have been rad and I haven't changed, just like she asked.