@Papa_Mex: I hate it when the neighbor's dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food
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@AndyAsAdjective: Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf
@AGreaterMonster: Thinking about implanting a magnet in my chin so I can make a badass beard of iron filings and paper clips. More attractive, yes?
@ShutUpThatsWho: [dog wedding] [Bride throws bouquet into crowd] [Groom catches it, gives it back to Bride] [Bride throws bouquet again] [Groom catches..
@heyevergreen: Thought I saw a brownie walk by but it was just my dog. Other than that, diet is going well.