@Papa_Mex: I hate it when the neighbor's dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food
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@msgwenl: Always a bridesmaid, never a new world-order leader in a post-apocalyptic all-powerful matriarchy. Sigh.
@Scdavis24: Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
@Elizasoul80: Bears spend a bunch of time getting fat, sleep for a few months and then wake up skinny. Being a human is terrible.