@Xoolun: I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
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@TheCiscoKidder: 5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions.
@UnFitz: Bought a shirt in the UK. Care instructions say "iron whilst damp." I still have no idea when to iron that thing.
@SteveSuckington: What she said: wanna share some nachos? What I heard: wanna race to see who can eat the most nachos?
@misfarber: *rearranges underwear drawer* Neighbor: the party's downstairs. Please get out of my room