@dumbbeezie: I hate it when you have french fries and all of the sudden people are acting like they like you
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@GraceSpelman: My debit card got stolen at the gym which is fine because i will still continue to go so that I can train to fight the person who stole it
@RamblingMachine: My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'.
@McAttack88: Is it wrong to follow people just because they're hot? Also, what about on Twitter?
@iwearaonesie: *comes home from work *wife jumps in my arms *sees I'm crying wife: Why are you crying? me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack