@TimJohnish: I hate it when you tell someone a lie to sound interesting and then you have to keep it up for several years because you married them.
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@MissBamantha: Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase "calm down."
@Tmoney68: All my scars & bruises tell a story. The story of a guy who falls down A LOT when he's drunk.
@rikpayne: I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...