@SteveDutzy: I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs.
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@sixfootcandy: Dr: How can I help you? Me: Can you make me look like this? Dr: Ma'am, that's a picture of Hello Kitty.
@AsYouNotWish: I hate it when celebrities ask me to donate to some fund, you make 30 millions a movie & I make $30 a day. You send money.
@Karate_Horse: OPRAH: ok everyone reach under their seat! ME: [i pull out a picture of the man next to me] OPRAH:[brandishing a knife] now kill that person