@SteveDutzy: I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs.
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@JamieGreenlees: I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying
@Cheeseboy22: Asked my 1st grade students the riddle: What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive? (A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."