@Erroneous_Me: I hate my job, but it pays for my alcohol, and I need the alcohol, because I hate my job.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Kyle_Raney: DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed.
@ehdannyboy: I was running for a bus but I just missed it and had to pretend i didn't want it in the first place so kept running now I'm in Belgium
@hammbone84: [Tornado siren blaring] Wife: Let's go to the basement. Me: There will be no line at Pizza Hut buffet. Wife: Me: I'll bring you a salad.
@Reverend_Scott: [Paranormal Investigator shows up at Disney World] Ok, show me this so-called "haunted mansion"