@qwertying: I hate people who say 'Age is just a number' — Age is clearly a word.
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@TheBoydP: Of course I care about the environment. I spray air freshener every time I leave the restroom don't I?
@jackiembouvier: Friend: I'm getting married! Me: I suffer from IBS. F: Why are you telling me that? M: I thought we were just stating unfortunate truths.
@ericsshadow: If she calls me lazy again, I swear I'll get off this couch and go take a nap in bed.