@CroweJam: I hate weddings, funerals and the symphony. I never know when to clap.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PleaseBeGneiss: [lying in bed] Wife: He's probably thinking of other women ME: *Imagining eating dinner with Batman* It's a cape AND a bib?!
@YourDailyGroan: Why cotton swab companies haven't used "just the tip" as an advertising slogan yet is beyond me.
@novicefather: Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon.