@NotJPo: I hate when I get so stoned that I can barely feel my legs and arms and antlers and wings.
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@QwertyJones3: [nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? "Yes of course we do!" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*
@KattsDogma: I started a book club. A coloring book club. There's a line to get in. We're never on the same page. Nothing's black & white. We're well red
@HairyJew4Life: Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years? Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.