@slimmy_shady: I hate when I give people nicknames like "stupid face" on my phone and I cant remember who the stupid face is.
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@FatherWithTwins: Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then
@thenoahkinsey: Me: So if I call Canada it's billed as international? Phone rep: Yes. Cuz Canada is a country. Me: You should hear how ridiculous you sound.
@68Cly29: The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties.