@slimmy_shady: I hate when I give people nicknames like "stupid face" on my phone and I cant remember who the stupid face is.
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@badteacher4u: Strangely enough, yelling "I have a masters degree!" at this electric wine opener is not helping me figure out how to make it work. Weird.
@sarcasticmommy4: My teen was complaining he had no clean clothes so I asked him what he thought he should do: "Uh, go buy new clothes?" Have kids. It's fun.
@julie2288: Pregnancy tests in movies are so weird... She hands him the test and he stands there holding this stick of pee like it isn't a stick of pee
@amydillon: Cereal is a satisfying way to start the day if you're having another breakfast within 45 minutes.