@TheCatWhisprer: I hate when I go to unbutton my pants because they're too tight and they're already unbuttoned.
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@ThugRaccoons: [Wedding night] Me: Finally! I’ve waited SO long for this New Father in Law: You’re in the wrong room Me: Am I? *winks forever*
@SCbchbum: I wouldn’t mind being catcalled if it were useful: “Hey baby, boot sale at Macy’s!” or, “Line’s shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!”
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: what should I do? Dentist: stop eating sugar, drinking coffee and wine, cut back on stress.. Me: right but like realistically
@ArfMeasures: [1st day at work] BOSS: Erm..we..have No Smoking rules here ME: That's great Alan [blows out smoke] most places have loads of smoking rules