@inigoomontoya: I hate when I miss the garbage truck and just have to throw trash in the neighbors hot tub again
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@unravelingfire: Him: You're sexy as hell. Her: I'm an atheist. Him: You're sexy as vast abysmal and empty nothingness. Her: Awwwww, thank you.
@djdarrellripley: Him: I just had sex with that woman! Me: She’s 60. Him: I know. Me: I Hope you used protection or you might have caught osteoporosis.