@inigoomontoya: I hate when I miss the garbage truck and just have to throw trash in the neighbors hot tub again
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@ShesARealGenius: [Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time.
@HatfieldAnne: (starts to scramble eggs) “THESE YOLKS WON'T BREAK! THIS IS TAKING FOREVER!” (.0008 seconds later) “Oh, ok.”
@mishakey: 4 out of 5 experts agree that when you put any 5 experts together, 4 out of 5 of them will agree.