@thequeensheart: I hate when I skip lunch and come home and inhale my kitchen
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@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You should cut the grass. Me: Yes, dear. W: And, you really need to trim that bush. M: *mumbles* Yeah, you too. W: What? M: Yes, dear.
@kelkulus: Girls hate it when you give them Christmas presents with an implied expectation, like an iron, a food processor, or knee pads.
@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.