@Tups13: I hate when I think of a great tweet and discover someone did it already. It's like that time I invented the wheelbarrow.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Petote: Is that all? "I wanna stab you." Huh? "Cut your throat." What? "Drink your blood." Um. "Have your baby." Uh. "Kidding! I'll have a coke."
@ramblinma: Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven't experienced any yet, but statistically they're bound to happen at some point.
@EricGoldie: I politely asked a woman on my flight if she could put her kid in the overhead compartment & she looked at me like I was crazy or something.
@wolfpupy: hello secretary? i need you to go to that website where you can combine pokemon and combine mew and squirtle, print it out and bring it here