@Tups13: I hate when I think of a great tweet and discover someone did it already. It's like that time I invented the wheelbarrow.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SlipCarefully: Forgot my phone and had to write my tweets on paper and pass 'em around at the meeting. nnDidn't get any stars. nGot RT'd to HR.
@KenJennings: ANIMALS IT'S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark
@perfect_messs: Me: Can't remember what I said 2 seconds ago. Also me: Remembers verbatim our 37 min conversation about belly button lint from 5 yrs ago.
@LeftAtLondon: Alternate universe where all appearances of the word “lil” in rappers names have to be replaced with the word “teensy weensy”