@kcmoore51: I hate when my wife says her friend at work "got flowers again today" and I have to kill that chick's husband.
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@notabeanie: DOC: good news is you'll make it ME: phew! DOC: ...into the the record book for stupidest way to die ME: *still vomiting marshmallows*
@shutupmikeginn: Like my therapist always says, "I'm not your therapist, you're just laying on a couch in Ikea"
@johnfreiler: if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
@audipenny: I noticed that you're still staring at me after I already answered your question, what can we do to stop this