@GrandadJFreeman: I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
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@StinkyGr33n: *Creating bees* God: Make them highly beneficial to the ecosystem. Angel: Sure thing, boss. God: Give 'em the greatest knees of all time
@Renie_Rivas: My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs.
@rachellinfox: Sister posted on FB: pray for me, I have a test tomorrow. My comment: it's cheating if Jesus helps you. Solidifying my black sheep status
@stephenjmolloy: [First date] Sarah: I'm a twin. Me: Do you know what each other are thinking? *meanwhile across town* Sue: Sarah's date isn't going well.