@: I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like--it was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
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@NotthatAdamWest: Carol from Facebook said she's "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That's how days work."
@stevevsninjas: wife: what's wrong? slug: boss said I work slowly. wife: he's harsh. take it with a grain of- slug: TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF WHAT, DIANE?
@Gupton68: Him: Would you like to join our club? Me: What kind of club? H: We can’t talk about it. M: What are the rules? H: We can’t talk about it. M: Then why did you ask me to join your club? H: What club?