@Glynner85: I hate when The Little Mermaid is all "who cares no big deal I want more!" Like, you already have 20 thingamabobs you aquatic scumbag relax
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@sarcasticmommy4: Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want.
@Itskarleytime: Guy at a bar: wanna come back to my place? Me: *elaborate excuse* Guy: did you just say elaborate excuse?
@MomOnFire: Whoever taught my five-year-old daughter how to "air quote," I need to speak with you privately.