@ScreaminZeman: I hate you more than the guy that raised his hand after the teacher said we could all go early if there are no more questions.
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@bornmiserable: "Where do escalators come from?" "Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much..."
@deadstick_ron: Therapist: and how are you now? Morgan Freeman: I am fine Morgan Freeman: but Morgan Freeman was not fine Therapist: I'm sorry what?
@JoeMande: "Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory." - NBA players to their interior designers
@AnneM69: I love people who IM me to tell me that they left a voice message to say that they sent me an email