@KoJo_Sunshine: I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas
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@panmidwest: HER: so what do you do? ME: i'm a mathemagician HER: you mean a mathematician? ME: [divides by zero] no
@KimmyMonte: [walks into aquarium] me: hi can I just use your bathroom? employee: sorry it's for patrons only me: ok fine I'll take four sharks
@Parentpains: Surround yourself with people that can't handle their alcohol, so you can drink theirs after they pass out.