@TommyKarate: I have a big butt and I can not lie.
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@Mr_Kapowski: 7 y/o daughter: Dad, do trees poop? Me: Of course! 7 y/o: Really? Me: Why do you think they call them "Number 2" pencils?
@iwearaonesie: wife: Did you work late? [flashback to me missing my exit because the car in front of me had Shrek on and I wanted to see the ending] me:Yep
@Bexdora: Piglet: *sees recipe book* Honey-glazed...Pooh, what's ham? WinniethePooh: A food that goes well with honey. Now, how about a nice hot bath?