@tastefactory: I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like "OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"
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@vineyille: How’d you come up with the idea? Inventor of pac man: I took a bunch of pills one night and ate a ghost. I thought “now here’s something”
@MattMcGruff: Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs
@egg_dog: don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather
@MissNaughty1801: CW:my husband doesn't understand me at all. What about yours? Me:I wouldn't know... I don't talk to him about you...